It never fails that each year as I enter Holy Week I feel like I’ve fallen short of my Lenten goals. This comes with a feeling of failure which can lead to depression…and a sense of urgency and anxiety that I need to “hurry up” and get right with God. I need to remind myself that neither of these – dwelling on past regret or worrying about catching up to achieve some unattainable goal of the future – can be God’s will for me. So yesterday I decided to surrender my depression and anxiety to God by once again going to the sacrament of reconciliation.
I am fortunate that I can go to my pastor who is a kind and gentle spiritual mentor. He related that he too experiences some of the feelings I expressed, that I’m pretty hard on myself, and that I am forgiven. And we talked about the fact that, while God calls us in the Old Testament to do our “job” serving Him and others here on earth and if we turn from that, we will suffer the consequences…Jesus came to let us know, through the New Testament, that we will still be forgiven if we fall short, and can start over again. Wow, the Gospels really are good news if I listen to them!
I am only human and I will fall short sometimes. But if I keep my eye on the promise of Easter, I can still know the joy of God’s promises for me and most of all, His unconditional love. I don’t need to stand frozen in fear but can keep taking footsteps forward in faith.
I wish all of you a blessed Holy Week and Passover and a Happy Easter!