Quick, who springs to mind when I ask who is your “true love?” You might say God, Jesus, your spouse, your significant other. You may even have more than one. But how about yourself? Are you on the list of your true loves? If not, maybe it’s time you think about adding yourself…
Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. (Leviticus 19:18 and Matthew 22:39)
Did you know this mandate is in both the Hebrew Bible ( or Old Testament) and the Gospels (New Testament)? Jesus was asked by a Pharisee lawyer, ‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?’ “Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” So this begs the question, what if you don’t love yourself?
Love Is A Noun…and a Verb.
Ok, I know I’m an editor and this isn’t exactly romantic, but please hear me out. It has taken decades (we won’t say how many) for me to learn that true love is not just a “feeling” but a decision to express that feeling to others…and ourselves. We may feel “in love” romantically when we first meet that special someone but those of us who’ve been in love for many years know this feeling isn’t enough to sustain a long-term relationship all by itself. Life is hard. Marriage and relationships can be hard. Most often we need to make sacrifices, take action to show love over and over again even in the rough spots. And it’s really difficult to do this if we don’t love ourselves first because there is nothing to draw from to give.
To Thine Own Self Be True. (William Shakespeare)
My husband and I recently went to see the Shakespeare play, “Hamlet” at our local Milburn Stone Theater (They always put on a great production.) Wow, from that one play sprang many great one liners including “To be or not to be, that is the question,” and “Neither a borrower or a lender be,” and of course, my subject today, “To thine own self be true.” The saying is etched on coins given out for annual recovery anniversaries. And with good reason. Although the 12-Step program is a spiritual one, members are encouraged to have a God of their “own understanding,” and to put sobriety first, or risk losing everything else. In the process, those in recovery usually learn not only how to stay sober but how to live their best lives…to build their self-esteem in healthy ways, and yes, to love themselves.
Self-Love Vs. Self-Centered
But wait, you might say, isn’t recovery and growing spiritually all about being less self-centered? Absolutely. But here’s the thing I’ve also learned. Feeling down on yourself, beating yourself up, feeling sorry for yourself, being sad and depressed, worrying you’re not good enough…none of these are spiritually healthy and all are really forms of “pride in reverse” or fear. When we feel good about ourselves, we can experience joy, peace, hope and love…and only then can we pass those gifts on to others.
Lord, I pray we all take time out to appreciate the individual gifts You have given us and to learn to love ourselves and others the same way You love us. Amen.
Very thought provoking! I have always had trouble “loving” myself, but find “to thine own self be true” to be an admirable goal that I do strive for in my spiritual journey. Thanks for helping me see that!