Every new year, I ruminate then decide on a word or words that will guide me through the coming year. This past year I chose “Courage.” Previous years my words have included “Believe”, “Be Bold”, and “Joy.” I try to carry my word(s) into my prayers, thoughts and actions throughout the year. I used to make New Year’s resolutions, like losing weight and focusing on my work and spiritual goals, etc. But they are actually constant aspirations which come and go as they do for most (although at least I periodically renew them, especially at the beginning of the year.) Selecting a word or words seemed more sustainable, and spiritual. I was thinking about this right before Christmas and was considering the word “humility” when the words were chosen for me…
God’s Word vs. Mine
I was visiting with my pastor, whom I consider my spiritual advisor. I’d asked to give my confession prior to Christmas since I couldn’t make the church’s communal reconciliation. Most of my shortcomings seem to be headed, like all sins are, by my pride. I talked about how my pride often makes me be a little too bold in my words and actions. As a penance, he suggested I pray the “Litany of Humility” by Cardinal Merry del Val. It’s not an easy one so he also recommended I meditate on it one line a week. And then, while listening to my prayer of penitence (which I said in my own words), he said he had an epiphany. He told me as I was praying, he heard God tell him two words to tell me…
“Be Paul“
Wait. What? I was surprised. Wasn’t Paul the saint who talked about being bolder? Like some other people I know, I’ve often considered Paul to be preachy, even a bit arrogant at times. While he wrote over half the New Testament, his Letters often include run-on sentences and are hard to grasp in my opinion. Still, they include beautiful poetry like the one on Love often read at weddings (Love is patient, love is kind…) and are inspirational like my favorite Bible quote, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28). And, come to think of it, he even wrote on humility: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…” (Phil. 2:3-5) Hmmm…
You Can’t Argue with God
Maybe my pastor was onto something after all. Come to think of it, I’m a lot like Paul (although I used to resist this notion). He’s a writer, I’m a writer. He tries to interpret Christ’s words in the Gospel (I try to re-imagine Old Testament stories for readers in modern-day novels to get across God’s messages in them). I can be…well, bold sometimes because I’m passionate about things. In fact, I’m excited (and a little nervous) about pursuing making a movie out of one of my books. And yet…I also need to be reminded my work is for God, not myself. I tried to reconsider my word(s) for the New Year after I left Fr. Rich. But who am I to argue with God?
Dear Lord, help us to follow Your Word and Your Will for us this New Year.
