I’m sure all of you have had bad endings happen to what should have been happy occasions…like when you have a celebration or gathering of friends or family and toward the end of the event, someone says or does something that makes you mad or hurts your feelings. I think it’s our human nature to initially feel like the whole event, or maybe even the whole day (or week or month) is ruined. You can’t help how you feel, especially if the person who made you mad or hurt you doesn’t apologize or try to make things right, or if someone jumps on the bandwagon and makes things worse.
But I believe you can turn everything around and still end up with a happy ending. First, try not to dwell on the negative but shift your focus, either to what good lies ahead, or to other people who did contribute to the happy moments, or to the happy moments themselves; also try to feel your negative feelings and then let them go, accept them and move on, especially if there isn’t anything you can do to change the other person or situation. Finally, ask yourself, what did I learn from this conflict/challenge/problem? Did I play a part and if so, can it help me grow somehow?
My favorite episode of one of my favorite sitcoms from the late 90’s, “Everybody Loves Raymond” (now airing in reruns which my husband and I watch many evenings – they say it’s good to watch something funny before you go to bed to help you fall asleep happy – works for me!) addresses, in a very real way, how to have a happy ending, despite a bad beginning, middle or apparent end: in this episode, Ray’s brother Robert is getting married to his girlfriend Amy. The wedding is dampened by their mother, Marie, who stands up during the vows to voice her objections (or feelings); the wedding eventually goes on, then at the reception, there is an argument between the bride’s and groom’s dads over a cash bar and some other squabbles over the food and such. But in his toast, Ray talks about the one thing that can save the day: EDITING. He jokes about how he and Robert often used the editing tool growing up to survive their childhood, and how we should “remember the good” and edit out the rest in looking back on our memories. Being an author and book coach, I love the analogy of editing and happy endings…the best books out there usually have both!
Even in trials and tribulations we can remain joyful according to St. James, who says this in the Bible:Â “Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters,
when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom,
he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly,
and he will be given it. But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind.” (James 1:1-7)
Today I pray I will look back…and move forward…with faith and joy.
Well said.
thank you Carol! I have learned from the best! 🙂