In helping try to take care of my dad who is now home recuperating from surgery and facing the road ahead dealing with cancer, I have felt a range of emotions…including guilt and inadequacy that I am not doing enough because I live over an hour away and work full-time two hours away and can’t be there more with he and my mom. I am trying to find some level of acceptance that I, like the rest of my family, am doing the best I can…whether it be asking the right questions with the doctors (the reporter in me) to making a joke (the kid in me) to cooking a meal (the wannabe chef in me)…I have come to find  that we all have our roles to play and they may change over time but I just need to keep asking God for guidance and strength – as I do in any area of my life. As I’ve probably written here before, I believe God does have a job for each of us to do on this earth – small and large – and our journey here in large part is finding out what it is and then doing it to the best of our abilities with His help. And we know from all of the characters in the Bible (Moses, David, Peter…the list goes on) that He doesn’t pick the biggest, best or brightest for each job, but the ones who tend to rely on Him…which should give us comfort when we do feel frustrated and inadequate.  In this past Sunday’s Mass readings, St. Paul reminds us of this: “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually parts of it. Some people God has designated in the church to be, first, apostles; second, prophets; third, teachers; then, mighty deeds; then gifts of healing, assistance, administration, and varieties of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work mighty deeds? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret?” (1 Cor 12:12-30) Definitely questions to ponder. I hope that as I continue to write my novels based on stories in the Old Testament of the Bible I continue to just do my job…and leave the rest up to Him!
